My "good" deed

So yesterday I did what I consider to be a "good" deed.  I say "good" because it did involve me screaming at someone.  It wasn't necessarily my intention but felt it necessary to get my point across and also they struck a nerve.

It started a few weeks ago.  I received something in the mail from one of the hospitals within the network where Corbin passed.  I didn't know what it was but figured maybe it was something regarding support groups or ways to set up memorials so I decided to open it.  What it actually was was a letter stating "Congratulations on the newest addition to your family."  It also stated I could return the letter to receive a free first aid kit and also contained a pamphlet containing pediatric referrals.  It was like a stab to my already shattered heart.  My child passed at one of your hospitals!  He was also born at a completely different hospital network entirely. 

At the time, I was so peeved I decided I was going to write a letter and not call.  I didn't know how I was going to handle calling.  Well, I got busy and caught up in other things and hadn't gotten around to writing the letter (or simply wasn't feeling up to it at the time).  Wednesday I went to get the mail and low and behold there was yet another letter from this hospital network stating the same thing it said before.  I don't know why exactly but I decided it was time to call.  If my son wasn't born within their hospital network, how did they get my information?  And if they're going off their records, they should state what happened and think twice before sending such information.

I called immediately.  I knew when I first called it was going to be someone who's basically a customer service rep.  I knew before they even answered they weren't going to have the answers I was looking for but I was determined to get to someone who could.  The girl I first spoke to told me there's some 3rd party company that receives birth records and sends out letters on behalf of their hospital network.  I had more questions, she didn't have answers.  She transferred me to the director of marketing.  He didn't answer so I left a voicemail.  He didn't call back, so I called the next morning, talked to a customer service rep (who was even more clueless than the first) and she transferred me to the director of marketing again and this time gave me his direct number. 

I was somewhat surprised but he actually answered!  I started off nice and also vague.  I wanted to see what kind of answers he'd give me first.  First he tried to tell me that this 3rd party company gets notifications from credit bureaus when they see someone is expecting or just had a baby (I know this not to be true, credit bureaus do not show any such information regarding this.)  He then proceeded to tell me I was the 9th person to call and say they received this information in error.  Come to find out the 8 other people received the information were not expecting nor just had a baby.

I know he still didn't know my situation but this is the point where I lost it.  I screamed and told him I did have a baby and that he passed at one of their hospitals.  I also explained that I don't understand why when something like that happens, why their system doesn't flag something and stop information like what I received from coming.  He told me there was and that it failed (DUH!).  I told him I didn't want this happening to anyone else.  He told me he wanted to look into what happened in our case.  He took down my info and told me he'd get back to me with answers and how they were going to prevent this in the future.  I sat and shook for the better part of an hour.

He called me back yesterday afternoon.  He told me they didn't have a flag in place for situations like ours.  He told me in the 18 months of the programs existence, our situation had never come up (I still find this hard to believe).  He told me they now have a system in place so this will never happen again and that our information has been removed from their marketing system.  He then told me that they're actually looking into this program and are thinking of ending it completely because they don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else.

So in the end I feel like I did a "good" deed for, unfortunately, future loss mommies in my area.  It hurt me deeply to have to go through what I did but I find comfort in knowing that this won't happen to anyone else.  I've also learned you don't mess with a loss mommy.  We protect our own!