For my friends

I was talking to one of my super good friends the other night and it got me thinking.  For this post I'd like to talk to and about my friends.

First, thank you all for your support.  Your thoughts and prayers hold us up when we feel we're going to fall.  We were absolutely blown away by the sheer number of you who came to support us at Corbin's service.  It really meant a lot to us to have you there.

We've spoke to many of you since everything happened and there's a few things I'd simply like to say.  This is not directed at any particular person and it is not my intention to offend.

Many of you have expressed that you don't know what to say to us.  I want you to know that it's completely ok.  I've realized that honestly there are no words on this earth good enough for my Corbin.  Also, there unfortunately isn't a magic word or sentence or paragraph or story that will change what happened or prevent us from hurting.

On the same line - many of you have expressed that you don't know what to do for us.  Again, there's no magic thing.  Here is what I can say though:

• It's nice to get a call, a text, a facebook message or email simply saying you're thinking about us - especially on the difficult milestone days (birth date and passing date)
• I appreciate when people attempt to include us in their activities - just please be patient.  There are times when we really would like to see you but I simply don't feel like leaving the house or I'm simply having a bad day.
• I love hearing stories of events that happen in people's lives that make you think of Corbin or you feel Corbin's spirit or presence.  It warms my heart and makes me smile.
• I'd love for whoever is up to it, to come with us sometime to the cemetery.  It's obviously not a "fun" thing to do but Corbin loves to see people visit.
• I have a hard time making decisions about anything right now.  It's seriously much easier for you to say "let's go out to eat here" or "let's go here".  I appreciate everyone trying to do what I want to do but I don't know what that is most of the time.  (Just don't suggest things like Chuck E. Cheese :o)  )
• It's ok to cry even if I'm not.  I know many of you have children and this sort of hits home - just be careful if you're sad or crying and want to call.  I can honestly be having an ok day and then lose it when the person on the other line is sobbing.
• Hugs are sometimes the best thing.
• Don't feel you always have to say you're sorry.  I know it's a common response - I've said it myself -  but you didn't do anything to cause this. 
• Don't be afraid to talk about your own children sometimes, just don't let it be the only topic of conversation.  We also love to talk about our Corbin and would love it if you would listen.
• You don't need to "walk on egg shells" when you talk to us.  Sure, there's obvious things people shouldn't say but if you find out you're expecting etc. it's ok to tell us - just please don't confuse our happiness with my probably unequal physical response.     

Like I said, this wasn't directed at any one or even few people.  You have all been wonderful friends.  I just know so many of you want to help us and don't know how.  I hope this helps, even a bit.