Surprise!

Today is the anniversary of our first surprise.  Most of you don't know what today is.  Sure, it's Thursday and April 12th.  You know what today is but have no idea the meaning today has for me.  On this day last year, we found out I was pregnant.  My husband and I had always said we weren't going to have kids.  We were perfectly happy being the cool aunt and uncle and sort of adopting our friends' kids as our own.  Little did we know we had both changed our minds.

A week before we found out, my mind had started wandering.  Maybe I was pregnant.  I had to put it out of my mind though because I was preparing to take one of the CPA tests and needed to focus on that.  The weekend before we found out I didn't feel well.  I just figured I caught something and really didn't think anything of it.  My mind started wandering again but I didn't say anything because I figured I was getting worked up for nothing. 

That Tuesday my mind would just not shut off.  My husband is a free mason and was going to be attending a meeting that night and wouldn't be home till late.  After I finished working that day I finally decided I was going to go and get a test to tell my brain to shut up.  I went to CVS, bought a digital test and came home.  I read the directions and took the test.  It said results would take 3 minutes.  It was more like 3 seconds.  The test said I was pregnant.  I stared at it in disbelief for about 10 minutes.  I dropped the stick 3 times.  I convinced myself to go downstairs and make dinner.  I stood in the kitchen staring at nothing for probably 15 minutes. 

I had hours to kill before my husband got home.  I tried to watch TV to keep my mind off of things.  It didn't work.  My mind raced with thoughts of what this means and also how my husband was going to take the news since this wasn't part of "the plan."  I thought about what he would say.  I was scared to death of the entire situation. 

He called me on his way home like he always does.  I knew he was going to so I had told myself just to act as natural as possible because I didn't want to tell him over the phone.  The phone call was torture.  He finally got home.  I did my best not to act like anything was wrong but between him knowing me that well and me not being able to mask my emotions, he walked in, looked at me and asked "what's wrong?"  I told him I was pregnant and immediately started bawling.  My husband can be very level headed and this was one of those times.  He looked at me and said "ok."  He then told me that he thought I was going to tell him that I lost my job.  (if that was the case I probably wouldn't have been that upset).  We talked for hours that night as I freaked out about being pregnant, giving birth, raising a baby and paying for college (yes, my mind moved that quickly).  He said a lot that night and some of the funniest things he said were "you couldn't have told me yesterday before I bought the TV?" (he'd been looking to buy a TV for close to a year at that point and finally pulled the trigger the day before).  "Sweet, now I have a DD for the next 9 months!"  This always came up whenever one of our friends was pregnant.  "Are you sure it's mine, I've been in Cleveland a lot".  He'd been traveling a lot for work lately.  I knew he was joking but knew he was going to bring it up. 

This was the first of the many surprises to come from who eventually became Corbin.  I was so freaked out and scared that day.  I remember every moment of that day vividly.  I wish today was last year all over again in hindsight.